Rejoice in persecution

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you."

This is one of my favorite passages in the new testament. It fills me with encouragement and hope, that what i'm going through or went through was not in vain.

I've never been persecuted or ridiculed for my faith and love in Christ until i came to college. And i guess there are good and bad sides to that.

The good- i surrounded myself with Christians. I was always in that comfort zone, with leaders and elders to guide me down my spiritual path, and with friends to hold me accountable. My entire family + mom's side is devout Christian.

The bad- i never professed my faith as outwardly as i have in the past couple years. I was a silent Christian..in that i never tried to tell the gospel to non-Christians that i knew, only marking "Christian" on surveys or applications. Not a proud moment for me here...

The people that i've surrounded myself with in college were not exactly "Christians", i guess. They were labeled christians, but did nothing to glorify God. I'm guilty of it too, it's not like i'm walking around, head held up high acting like a pious little christian. No..i've had my share of stepping into mud here and there. But it wasn't until last year that i realized. All this worldly stuff that people get soaked up into,.. the partying, the drinking, the sex,.. means nothing. And when you reject that because you know that those things take you further and further away from the relationship between yourself and the heavenly Father, people judge. They reject you, slander you, hate you. And it hurts to be rejected by those who you've called friends. your Sisters.

But this passage. Peter is telling those who have been prosecuted for God to stand with joy and happiness, not of embarassment or shame. Our sufferings are nothing compared to what Jesus went through..all that physical, emotional, mental and above all spiritual torment that he went through.. all for love.

I look back now on that fall semester last year,.. when i was ridiculed for standing up to my faith. And i've never felt more happier. Not sad for the deteriorating relationships with my 'friends', but instead joy and honor, and even a sense of peace. All for the glory of God.

"However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."

Heavenly Father - thank you for allowing me to be persecuted for you. for allowing me to feel rejection and shame in front of the world, just so that i can bear Your name and the cross. to profess my undeserving but undying love for You.

curiosity.

i made a gruesome discovery about myself today. ok..'gruesome' is a little harsh but still, i didn't like what i found. a really close friend of mine asked me about my faith and prayer. he asked me simple but such questions that requires like ground-breaking truth. and i found that i actually couldn't really explain it to the extent which i wanted him to hear.

"what is the difference between wishing and praying?"
i feel like for someone who's been a christian as long as i have (i am now 20 so i've been christian for 21 years. thats including the 9 months i was in my mom's belly), this questions shouldnt really be stumping me.

isn't wishing like a type of greed where we hold all these things, whether materialistic or not, in our hearts and just hoping that those things will come to us? or like sincerely and so determinedly(sp?) hoping that we'd come to a state where we possess those desired characteristics/materials? i dunno. it's kind of complicated..i feel like i'm answering a question for my philosophy class.

and then there's prayer. one of the most fundamental and piece of the cornerstone of our christian faith, which is our communication with God. of course there are times though..when our prayers turn to shopping lists. "Dear Lord, i want this, bless me with that..i really need this.." and i think christians tend to take advantage of the whole notion of "ask and you shall receive." in fact it is so easy to misinterpret that passage! there are several actually..

- "for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:8
- "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." - Matthew 21:22

but i feel like that shouldn't be! why is it that those who consider themselves as devout christians, would take advantage and abuse the gift of prayer? yes, it's true that if you ask and believe, you will receive. but it's not like he's gonna give us EVERYTHING.

i dunno. at this point, everything i'm saying is so simple and dull that it's just not filtering through my head.....OR! and i like this one better..it's late.

but i guess my point is that to a non-christian, it'd be easy to take praying as wishing and just take the 'easy way out.' for example, this kid was having a hard time with current situations, and he just wanted to "find religion", like how i read about many people do in tough times. he just happened to think that since christians pray to a supreme god who answers and knows our hearts and prayers, he'd even be merciful enough to hear his own little voice.

and i guess that's touching.
but that doesnt exclude the fact that i'm still really ignorant of my own faith, and my own God who gave me everything.

see why i'm frustrated?