pray like Jesus

everytime i come home for break, my dad always makes us wake up and attend the early morning services with him and my mom. it's sad, but it's one of those things that i DO NOT look forward to upon homecoming. honestly, who likes to wake up in the dead of night? i am not a morning person and get grouchy if woken up in the middle of a sleep, and lemme tell ya- today was just one of those days.

but now that i replenished in my lack of sleep, tummy full, and mind somewhat back to normal, i gotta ask myself. didn't Jesus like this too? he prayed in the dead of morning when there were nobody else, it was just Him and God.

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed" - Mark 1:35.

i know as christians, we are to live like Jesus Christ, to set an example by living how he did. but why is it so hard to do a simple thing like praying? i take it for granted that we can pray directly to our Father. you know, some religions and countries don't even let you do that! some people are persecuted so heavily, that they can't pray without having the fear or being discovered and shot. i can't even begin to imagine how that'd feel like...

but anyway- pray like Jesus. i know that sometimes it's really hard, because there are times when you try to pray but prayers won't come out! i asked my dad why that is, and he said, it's Satan suppressing your heart and your tongue.

omg. that made perfect sense. satan doesn't like us praying, he is always constantly trying to block our relationship with God, and guess what- prayer is like a portal to our relationship with our Heavenly Father! smart enemy.

Jesus taught us how to pray; it's all in the bible. he taught us how to pray in joy, thanksgiving, anguish, anger, or even out of just peace. He is the example to follow in prayer. don't be like the pharisees who pray loudly and just say big, fancy words..be like Jesus who prays in darkness where nobody can see/hear Him, because that's when you truly connect with God. there's no worry about how you appear to others, because it doesn't matter how other people see you as a "pray-er".

you give & take away. but sometimes, u take away TOO much.

so i just found out that my great-grandmother passed away today. like 15 minutes ago, literally. what the heckk? my grandpa on my mom's side died just not a month ago, and my mom's grandma just passes away too??

i understand that it's life. you know. life.

we are born, we live, and we die. and all is according to God's good plan. but i'm just gonna take a human second here. my mom and grandma are two of the most hard-working, praying, pious women i know. and i'm not just saying that bcus they're family.

but i wish i understood God right now. what exactly is your reason of taking away BOTH my mom's DAD & GRANDMA?? my poor grandma. i can't even imagine what she might be going through. to lose your husband & mother.


Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

i'm just having a hard time accepting this is all. how strong in faith do you have to be to accept that when you lose someone, they're not just dead but it's God who called them? OR, how low do you have to be to turn to nothing BUT God? is that even right? is it okay to turn to God when there's nothing else? but that makes it sound like He's our last resort. and that shouldn't be! he should be the first that we turn to.

i guess i'm just really confused. because i don't want a reason to be angry at God, but i'm human.

keep pressin on...

junior year = wowwww....

even i wasn't expecting this. i remember high school sophomore year, upperclassmen always told me that i've come to the end of the fun part of high school- from here on, it's study study study!! all work and no play. who thought this would be the same in college.!!

here i am, pulling another all-nighter. my exam tomorrow kind of needs to turn out well..i bombed my last exam and that was my first and last freebie exam. but despite my cross-eyedness and slowly numbing-mushy turning brain, i gotta ask myself- why am i doing this? what is this all for???

one simple answer..God.
all for the glory of God.

i take for granted lots of times that i'm at purdue. i complain day to day about its stinnky smells, problems with financial stuff, and other personal issues..but i never take the time to be really thankful and appreciate all that He's given to me. i don't deserve any of this..i'm one of the worst people out there! in moments like these, i just need to realax, take a step back,..and enjoy this. but more importantly, keep my priorities and motives fixated on Jesus Christ. i'm doing this all for Him...studying for him,..aiming for a good gpa so i can get a good job so that i can serve others. because that's what He wants us to do. not get the jobs that pay so we can benefit and spoil ourselves...no, but rather to serve others.

God loved the world, that he sent his one and only son.
i just need to remember that God sent Jesus to die for us. the least i can do is put all that i am doing for the glory of God.

there, i feel a little bit better and refreshed now.

:)

brutal but necessary

I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people- not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. IN that case you would have to leave this world. But now i am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

1 Corinthians 5:9-11


Is this passage saying what i really think it's saying? Don't hang around with sexually immoral people, immoral, greedy, idolaters, etc...basically people who live by the rules of this world, not of heaven. But what if you have lots of "friends" who possess all those qualities? Those qualities that Paul (and most probably God) condemns? It's a little hard to wrap my head around this. I mean i know that it's the 21st century, and practically everyone's done everything,.. and there might only be a few of us who can safely & confidently say, "I've never done any of those" left in the world... and then it makes me question, well what about the command that tells us to love others like God has loved us? So is loving someone and associating with someone different? But how can you love someone if you don't associate with them. i guess there's my question.

It's kinda hard to get to know somebody without associating with them. I'll be first to admit; i have a hard time accepting how some of my friends live their lives. But then, i enjoy their company- we have fun together, we laugh together, and we eat together. Well there's my first problem right there. I'm not trying to be judgmental, because in the end it's God who does that, not me. But all the stuff that they+me (when i'm with them) talk about and do are probably belonging in one of those categories. This has got to be one of the most brutal yet necessary passages i've ever read.

i know that i shouldn't hang out with the immoral because that'd only bring me down. i've already been brought down! I just don't see how we are going to expel those who are immoral away from our lives. so that just means that we are to stay in our comfortable christian circle of friends? But then how are you supposed to survive in the real world? not everyone's going to be Christian where you will end up working, most likely, and then we'll have to deal with non-christian, secular people. i don't know. i really like this passage because it's very clear-cut on what we should do, or in this case what we shouldn't do. i guess i'm just confused about how to live this passage.

HUMBLEbee

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I think you that I am not like other men-robbers, evildoers, adulterers-or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Luke 18:9-14



Jesus tells us this story to teach about pride and contempt. These Pharisees, who were known to be such religious leaders and figures of society in that time, were supposed to practically define behaviors of piety. but like in Matthew 23, Jesus scorns them by calling them "white-washed tombs".. those who walk around head held high, all mighty and proud, all the while swearing at the temples, full of greed and acting exactly hypocritically.

The pharisees are supposed to be the epitome of what God calls on his children to be, to be gentle, humble, obedient, and pray in secrecy. In praying in secrecy, i mean to not boast that he prays. But in the scripture, they do just that. They walk around temples boasting that they pray and even fast several times a week. what, it's like they're trying to show off that they're "men of God"?

All the while, the tax collectors- the ones who were deemed to be like the pimps and drug dealers of the day, are praying most fervently and wholeheartedly... completely aware that he is dirty, a sinner, and most unworthy of even begging for forgiveness. This is how we should pray. Not walk around proudly because we're praying like we're supposed to...No, that's not what God wants.

He calls on us to be humble, to realize our human limitations, and that even though our intentions may be good, we're still human that those good intentions are still unacceptable to God. But he still accepts. Why? bcus he is a loving, merciful, and forgiving God. He's compassionate and loves all his children.

It's not that the Pharisees lived in the wrong way, or the tax collectors lived right. The pharisees were supposed to be the priests and ministers of the day, so it's not like they were being bad people.

What God had a problem with was their pride. They took pride in their credentials, in their leadership positions because they thought they were 'higher up'. To make things even better, they looked down upon those who were not nearly on the same level. They looked down on people like the tax collectors, even though in church their prayers were more humble and honest.

One of my devotional books is called When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer, and in it they mention Helmut Thielicke, a German theologian, who says, "Pharisaic pride is one of the most dreadful and also one of the most infectious diseases of Christianity."

How true, but brutal is that??? It's scary sometimes when people say things that hit right at home, but at the same time pierces us.

I speak from experience. I was a church leader in high school, and being the cocky self that i was back then (who wasn't honestly in high school?), took huge pride in being a leader. I can say that i strutted literally,... yes, strut in church. and that was because people looked up to me. when i began, truthfully God was my intention, to do everything that would glorify Him. but along the way, that vision got pushed back by all the praises that adults and youth group gave me.

I should've been like the tax collector, praying while beating my chest crying out that "i'm a sinner, i'm a sinner", because i really am. We use christianity as a step to make ourselves look good by taking various leadership positions. and while many of us (hopefully all of us) start with the intent of truly returning everything to God, we lose sight of that and start glorifying ourselves instead. so instead of a Church with leaders to guide others to Christ, what we have now is just a fellowship of self-worshipping "leaders".

tomorrows

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
- Proverbs 16:9

i wish i could fast forward to the future, so that i can see this. because right now, i'm not sure of anything right now. my life, my motives, my goals. even God's plans for me. i think i'm going through a mid-life crisis right now. like for example, right now: i cannot go to sleep because i'm worried about tomorrows. i'm worried what i'm doing right now isnt what God wants. i'm worried that i'm not ambitious enough, greedy enough for my own future. i'm worried that what i'm planning right now won't be fulfilling in my life later on.

but i guess that's where the LORD steps in.
i can plan this or that, but ultimately He's in control.
why am i having such a hard time letting him take the reigns.