praying for rebuke

In this passage, the apostles are jailed and heavily prosecuted for preaching God's word after having crucified Jesus. Right before the Sanhedrin, the elders of Israel, kill the apostles, a Pharisee named Gamaliel comes to their defense. He basically says, if you try to kill these men, you're just going to end up in a war against God- and you don't wanna do that. So the apostles just end up getting flogged instead of killed, and are set free.

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." - Acts 5:42

The apostles' attitude is teaching me something important here. Of course, the things in my life are nothing compared to what these people had to face, but it's a great example. They took all that shame without complaint. They were humiliated, beaten, ridiculed all for the name of God. Something happens to me that would try to test my faith, and i just complaaaaaaaain..when i should really be rejoicing because God's trying to teach me something.

I guess the "learning the lesson" part is sort of being rebuked..when you read the scripture and meditate on God's words, and that itself is like rebuke. So like when "bad" things happen to you..unfortunate incidents or just simply hard times you can look at it with the same mindset. Of course it's sin that causes us to suffer because God does not cause bad things to happen to us. it's in our own sin that we are facing unfortunate circumstances. So personal example- my financial aid isn't going through as smoothly because i didn't do what i was supposed to immediately. lesson learned: DON'T PROCRASTINATE.

ok God..i think i learned my lesson now..

c.s. lewis song

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary
Then of course I'll feel nude when to where
I'm destined I'm compared

Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found?
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me
Is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I was made to live
I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

the Kingdom.

so im watching the Kingdom, and one of the first scenes if that of a man blowing himself up in a crowd of hundreds of people..and before he does it, he says "all glory to Allah."

i don't know much about Islam religion so i won't make any assumptions, but i can't understand the terrorists' mindset. how does it make sense that blowing up random people is glorifying to a god?

all of that just makes me even more thankful that our Christian God is the God He is. if i start listing all the prayers and complaints He answered, despite my foolishness, i'm sure my list will be pretttty long. the fact that He's not tyrannical and makes outrageous demands out of us is even more reason to want to love and follow Him. you know like how when some people of different religions get this fear in their eyes when they talk about their God..well it's not like that with us. well at least for me.

it's like in C.S. Lewis' the Witch, Lion, and the Wardrobe..when the Pevensies first hear Aslan's name from the beavers, you can just see peace all over their faces even though they've never met Aslan. the same with God. i mean yeah, God is to be feared and revered, but all the same, He calls the scared and weak to Him because He tells us that He's a gentle and kind God.

i think i'm done rambling and i wanna watch the movie :P so i'll leave you with this verse.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

John 14:27

like mary, like martha.

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

one of my favorite stories of the bible. the classic tale of the two sisters...kekkeke.. there's Martha, who in today's terms is the ideal host: preparing teas and cakes for the special guest. on the other hand you have her sister Mary, who can't take her ears off of Jesus' words. i love this story not only because Jesus tells us how we should turn our focus towards Him, but rather because we're shown 2 different ways to love and serve God.

yeah, Jesus comforts the upset Martha and tells her that Mary's chosen the better, but at the same time Martha's heart and desire to put on the best for Jesus is touching. i mean, i'll be honest- it's what i'd do. right away, i can tell that i'm more like Martha..all my attention focused on preparations and how to put on the best.

especially bcus of the world that we live in these days. we're so pressured to always put on and show and give the best, but scripture seems to tell us otherwise. sometimes, it's just best to forget about the nitty gritty details, and just listen. open heart, open ears, open mind. forget about the stupid things, they're not important. teas and cakes and refreshments are nothing worth compared to the presence of Jesus. i can't even imagine what that would be like..to be in direct presence of Jesus.

what would Jesus do ?

i can't believe how overwhelmed i am already and the 1st week hasn't even finished. so many things are on my mind right now and i don't know where to start. i don't know how to keep my cool and be patient cus i was never that patient of a person to begin with. sure, my problems right now are pretty insignificant, but my insignificant brain doesn't seem to think so. i'm famous for stressing myself out easily you see.. -_-

everytime i just wanna throw my hands up and give up, or turn the blame towards someone else, i find that i can't. i end up turning the finger back to me. which then, makes me feel even crappier bcus i know that the battle that i was just in right now, with satan, was a complete fail. i know that when i let myself get really angry and emotional, i'm practically inviting satan into my heart arms wide open. anger and frustration just spreads inside you like a poison, and you can't really stop it but to drop down and pray. aaaaand, i wasn't about to do that on the sidewalk by chauncey..

i think i need to get in the habit of thinking the "WWJD" mindset whenever i have these little implosions. bcus i wasn't saying or doing anything that seemed upsetting, but i know God read and heard my thoughts and was just shaking his head.. "tsk tsk, you Fool".. or sometimes my sister would try to calm me down by asking how i would act if Jesus was standing right next to me.

idk i'm still kinda frustrated so i'm gonna nap it off.
i need some serious rebuking....sah.

being called by God

10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

this was one of those familiar passages of Galatians, when apostle Paul tells the Galatians that there's a difference between serving and feeding the hearts of people and truly serving God. it's so easy in this time and age to appear as something you're not..well this isn't one of them. to be called a servant of Christ, Paul says you gotta check your heart- if you're doing it for the credit, recognition, and a round of applause, then it's not OK. i think he's speaking to all of us, no matter how we're serving, to really check ourselves to see if it's really God i'm serving.

because then the next part of the passage turns really interesting. Paul retells of his stories of when he first left as Saul and came back as paul, how people were amazed at his transformation through our Lord.

21Later I went to Syria and Cilicia. 22I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. 23They only heard the report: "The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy." 24And they praised God because of me.

staying faithful to the word and letting God do our transformations will yield some amazing results and turns in our life. Paul let go and let God, and God blessed those around Paul as well.

faith like Job's

The Lord said to Job: "2Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!" 3Then Job answered the Lord, "4I am unworthy-how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. 5I spoke once, but I have no answer - twice, but I will say no more."

I love the interaction between God and Job in this passage. Job's been faithful each time God let satan throw something at him, without complaining like his friends did. and God was pleased with him. i love how Job sets that example by fully crumbling down to his knees and submitting to God. that act of submission is so touching because we all know what it feels like to have taken the everything away, to have the world taken out from under your feet. and Job takes it like a champ and humbles himself completely. he strips himself of all pride and lays it all out.

2I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. 3You asked, 'who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' surely i spoke of things i did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. 4'You said listen now, and I will speak; I will question you and you shall answer me. 5My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. 6Therefore i despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

with love

wow what a c r a z y week. this summer's been too fast and i can't believe the new semester's about to start- my senior year! i don't think i'm ready..haha but apparently God thinks i am so we shall seee.

with all that's been happening this past week (moving in, cleaning, finalizing classes & loans, settling claims & accidents, etccc.....) i've almost come to lose my head and sanity. i'm constantly tired and cranky which doesn't exactly help me with the building of character. sometimes i just feel like a cork that's about to burst, there's times where i almost just blow up with anger and everything that i say and do aren't very God-centered nor glorifying.

if i'm gonna be a servant of God doing His works, i don't wanna be someone who's constantly on edge and ready to blow up. i wanna be patient like Timothy and faithful like Job. i need to learn to tame my heart and tongue, be patient and know how to turn to scripture.

Apostle Paul tells the Corinthians to be strong, to set an example as God's collection. sure they're human, and God and paul recognize that they're all prone to mess up here and there, but it's just a constant push towards living as Jesus did when he walked this earth.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. - 1Corinthians 16:13-14

i pray and pray for the servants and hearts of cornerstone- that through our tiredness and weakness is when God's power is magnified.