i miss you, God.
everytime i'm stressed, angry, sick, whatever,.. i seem to turn to music. whether it is singing at nrb, downloading or listening to my ipod.. it's the first thing that always comes to me. it's my remedy.
but lately i've been trying not to do that. i've been trying to make God my number 1, not my iPod. God's really trying to help me do that too, because dun dun dun, my ipod's almost broken!!!! i cannot listen to it without pressing down on the input thingy where my headphone goes in...it's really frustrating. but then i bet God up there is having a little laugh.
"You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." - Exodus 20:2-4
part of the ten commandments, the simple ten things that He tells us not to do, but yet it's so hard! i justify myself in saying that music isnt my idol..it's just music. it's part of my life, like breathing. but apparently, our jealous God considers it an idol, and i shouldn't turn to music but instead to him.
lately, i've been missing my ipod..but with doing some soul searching, i'm coming to the realization that what i'm really truly missing is God, not my ipod.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
ba-bam.
life has come to shown me that bad things happen to people. the Christian life has come to show me that the bad things that happen to people, aren't caused by GOD. why? because God is good. He's good- so why on earth would he let bad things happen to YOU????? its illogical, for one..
we make the same mistake over and over, in thinking that whenever bad things occur to us it's God punishing or whatever-ing us. and i also understand we're human and we are stupid beings who make mistakes. it's another thing to be that human who gets away with those things. and then when something bad happens, you either blame it on God, or pray your hardest for Him to make it all right. but if you've had every single chance in the world to make it right, to right your wrongs, but still fall, then that makes me wonder where the problem actually lies.
it's like Joe said in one of his messages. we are always waiting for God to save us, that we reject everything else that comes to our aid. and later, when we fall or die or whatever, we blame him for not saving us. but duh, he already tried. he already sent us ways and little knooks and crannies for us to crawl out of our sinful ways to be with him. then the joke's really on us... "dummy, i already sent help to save you but you rejected!"
God is good and merciful and full of grace and love, but at the same time, we as His children need to do our part. it can't be a one-way relationship,.. we have to be willing to make changes. we forget to take responsibility for our actions and stupid mistakes, and in the end we give that blame to God. it's crufixion all over again.
i'm just frustrated because we have this life. this one life that we're supposed to live, and instead of living it for Christ and with dignity, we throw it all away for sin. then it takes the rest of our spiritual/physical/mental strength to pull ourselves back onto the path, and start from the very place that we left off.
***
Dear LORD- i pray and ask you again for your compassion. help me to be compassionate to those who decide to take the other road and show me to how not hate and judge. teach me to love those people despite everything, because you loved us - the very people who nailed you on the cross. when those fall, help me to love them and embrace them and be gentle with them and even pray for them, because that's what you did for me.
we make the same mistake over and over, in thinking that whenever bad things occur to us it's God punishing or whatever-ing us. and i also understand we're human and we are stupid beings who make mistakes. it's another thing to be that human who gets away with those things. and then when something bad happens, you either blame it on God, or pray your hardest for Him to make it all right. but if you've had every single chance in the world to make it right, to right your wrongs, but still fall, then that makes me wonder where the problem actually lies.
it's like Joe said in one of his messages. we are always waiting for God to save us, that we reject everything else that comes to our aid. and later, when we fall or die or whatever, we blame him for not saving us. but duh, he already tried. he already sent us ways and little knooks and crannies for us to crawl out of our sinful ways to be with him. then the joke's really on us... "dummy, i already sent help to save you but you rejected!"
God is good and merciful and full of grace and love, but at the same time, we as His children need to do our part. it can't be a one-way relationship,.. we have to be willing to make changes. we forget to take responsibility for our actions and stupid mistakes, and in the end we give that blame to God. it's crufixion all over again.
i'm just frustrated because we have this life. this one life that we're supposed to live, and instead of living it for Christ and with dignity, we throw it all away for sin. then it takes the rest of our spiritual/physical/mental strength to pull ourselves back onto the path, and start from the very place that we left off.
***
Dear LORD- i pray and ask you again for your compassion. help me to be compassionate to those who decide to take the other road and show me to how not hate and judge. teach me to love those people despite everything, because you loved us - the very people who nailed you on the cross. when those fall, help me to love them and embrace them and be gentle with them and even pray for them, because that's what you did for me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
random rambles
life's so weird. it's a tangle of webs that we can all get easily lost in if we aren't careful. i never listen to what people say, and they're usually those that know me better than i know myself.
my life hasn't been the greatest. i know lots of people have been disappointed throughout their lifetime. people tell me i'm too nice, that i let people in too easily and therefore, i get hurt 100 times more. that's just it. that's my problem. i can't help it if i love too easily, and when i love someone/thing, i'm ready to put myself out there. i'm ready to die for that person, literally. but then there are those who see that as my greatest weakness, my vulnerability, and that makes me seem like a naive person. in psalms 25, david is crying out to God, asking him for strength to not let his enemies trample over him, like they are over me.
i think that through all this, God's trying to teach me something. i've been selfish practically all my life, and right now, God's telling me to grow up. i need to learn patience. i've never been sucha patient person. to some people, i might be, but my nature is not patient. i have the worst temper (if anyone, ask esther) and i like to complain and have things my way. who doesnt? but ever since my journey into college, i can feel God's hands working through me. He's finally shaping me into the person that He's originally intended. and yeah, i dont necessarily like it sometimes. it requires me to suck it all up and to be the bigger person. but i know it'll have good outcomes. with improvement comes time and suffering.
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
R.E.J.O.I.C.E.
This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!!
Even though the weather's crappy, my classes are giving me headaches, another round of midterms are coming up (AGAIN!!), and personal problems are a constant nag, i'm teaching myself- or i should say, God is teaching me- to seek him and rejoice before complaining.
you know that saying, Life's tough, get a helmet? well its very true. but how about investing in a helmet, how's about a bible??
corny and reeeally childish blog...
but God is GOOD(:
Even though the weather's crappy, my classes are giving me headaches, another round of midterms are coming up (AGAIN!!), and personal problems are a constant nag, i'm teaching myself- or i should say, God is teaching me- to seek him and rejoice before complaining.
you know that saying, Life's tough, get a helmet? well its very true. but how about investing in a helmet, how's about a bible??
corny and reeeally childish blog...
but God is GOOD(:
Thursday, October 8, 2009
prayin' for you
"Father God, I'm praying to you for somebody, who knows you Lord but just hasn't been seeing you in the right view lately, hear me out...
Father, i'm prayin for a friend he and i are pretty close. and out of all my friends for this one im concerned the most. He say he readin' daily but he aint really learning. He been in church but say that he aint moved by any sermon. His face weak, he ain't prayed in a week, he wake up and just weep with his face in the sink Lord, you gotta help my man, i'm prayin for him daily, he aint sinned but it just seem as if he's goin crazy. he say he's feeling trapped, cant even hit up the mall cus every lady's half-dressed temptin' him to lust and fall. He keep the tv off, videos just make him feel that he ain't really nothin without money, girls, and shiny wheels. The other day, he told me that he felt less a man cus he ain't have a five-year plan, or a piece of land. and man its crazy cus his family think so much of him, plus he got a godly wife who always showing love for him. but he's strugglin' even though he talk to me, i tell him what to do but he don't listen when he oughta'be. I'm scared for him, cus there's people that look up to him, he got some yonger siblings who been changed by what he's done for them but is it done for him? Lord don't let it be, if he dont wanna talk to you then Father hear from me. is it done for him, Lord don't let it be, if he don't wanna talk to you then Father hear from me...
Yea, i'm prayin for you, yea, i'm prayin for you
God, his condition is worsen since we were last conversin. and i'm with him now and he ain't doin well of this i'm certain. he say he's trying to trust you, doenst wanna disgust you but he was in teh midst of sinners and did not discuss you. and just today his anxiety's got the best of him, he knows Christ but for hours refuse to rest in Him. He's not the best of men but Lord i know he really loves you and i cant understand why lately he's not thinkin of you. People trust this dude, you could crush this dude, father he needs more of you i pray you touch this dude. what can i say to him, i'm determined to pray for him. Father empty and break him i pray you'll just have your way with him. cus there's a change in him and the effects are strong, i pray you open up his heart before the next song, and when he gets home i pray he'll open up the sixty-six book love letter you wrote and soak it up, cus he ain't hearin you, and he ain't feelin me and God i know it's killin you because it's killin me, and matter of fact there's something else he's concealing see, the person that I've been praying about is really me..."
- Lecrae
Father, i'm prayin for a friend he and i are pretty close. and out of all my friends for this one im concerned the most. He say he readin' daily but he aint really learning. He been in church but say that he aint moved by any sermon. His face weak, he ain't prayed in a week, he wake up and just weep with his face in the sink Lord, you gotta help my man, i'm prayin for him daily, he aint sinned but it just seem as if he's goin crazy. he say he's feeling trapped, cant even hit up the mall cus every lady's half-dressed temptin' him to lust and fall. He keep the tv off, videos just make him feel that he ain't really nothin without money, girls, and shiny wheels. The other day, he told me that he felt less a man cus he ain't have a five-year plan, or a piece of land. and man its crazy cus his family think so much of him, plus he got a godly wife who always showing love for him. but he's strugglin' even though he talk to me, i tell him what to do but he don't listen when he oughta'be. I'm scared for him, cus there's people that look up to him, he got some yonger siblings who been changed by what he's done for them but is it done for him? Lord don't let it be, if he dont wanna talk to you then Father hear from me. is it done for him, Lord don't let it be, if he don't wanna talk to you then Father hear from me...
Yea, i'm prayin for you, yea, i'm prayin for you
God, his condition is worsen since we were last conversin. and i'm with him now and he ain't doin well of this i'm certain. he say he's trying to trust you, doenst wanna disgust you but he was in teh midst of sinners and did not discuss you. and just today his anxiety's got the best of him, he knows Christ but for hours refuse to rest in Him. He's not the best of men but Lord i know he really loves you and i cant understand why lately he's not thinkin of you. People trust this dude, you could crush this dude, father he needs more of you i pray you touch this dude. what can i say to him, i'm determined to pray for him. Father empty and break him i pray you'll just have your way with him. cus there's a change in him and the effects are strong, i pray you open up his heart before the next song, and when he gets home i pray he'll open up the sixty-six book love letter you wrote and soak it up, cus he ain't hearin you, and he ain't feelin me and God i know it's killin you because it's killin me, and matter of fact there's something else he's concealing see, the person that I've been praying about is really me..."
- Lecrae
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
wisdom from the Spirit
"We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing."
I learned in one of my philosophy classes that many philosophers debate on whether God exists or not. Some give even mathematical reasonings to back up if He exists, but this just makes me wonder. As christians, of course the obvious answer is "yes, God exists" but what about to those skeptics? Some search their whole lives for that simple answer, and instead of searching in the Scripture, they form logical reasonings to satisfy their curiosity.
What i got from that verse was that wisdom of the world will account to nothing if you don't have the holy spirit residing in you. But that makes me sound like i'm saying that those skeptics don't have the holy spirit! And i'm really not one to make that judgement. God is. I guess i'm just trying to get this out, because it's been bothering me for a while now,.. but without guidance from the holy spirit, we don't know anything. because in the end, worldly knowledge is no knowledge.
"However, as it is written: No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God."
That's just it. Our human minds are incapable of trying to understand the extent to which God loves us, to send his only son to die for us. As JOe said in his sermon this past sunday, God's level of thinking is on a completely different dimension. It's impossible to try to comprehend how he thinks. But we can expect and understand one thing: that those who love God, He has prepared something greater than what we cannot perceive.
"For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
Like i said, God works on a completely different level, on which humans are incapable of comprehending. We are human. God is God. Enough said. My plan is to make a list of questions that I plan on asking God when/if I get to heaven. :)
"We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."
Predetermination and free will. God has chosen who will be with him at the end. Likewise, he has also given us the ability to choose. That's the great part about being human- free will. But this goes to show what a GREAT God he is. He is all powerful and could have created us to worship and praise him, but He didn't. If he wanted, he could've written the Scripture and his word on leaves, so that come fall, we'd see the truth. But he didn't. He wanted us to choose to love him.
"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
To those without the Spirit, spiritual wisdom is foolishness. It's unncessary and stupid and makes no sense whatsoever. But it's like i said before, God is Good and he'll put burden in the hearts of those who've heard the word but is still stubborn to believe.
*****
Heavenly Father- Thank you for choosing me to be your child. Help me to hold onto your word and truth as i go on living in this sinful world. I can only imagine the great things you have planned, and even though i'll stumble and stray away, i ask you to stay by my side so that eventually, i'll become the person that you had in mind when creating me.
I learned in one of my philosophy classes that many philosophers debate on whether God exists or not. Some give even mathematical reasonings to back up if He exists, but this just makes me wonder. As christians, of course the obvious answer is "yes, God exists" but what about to those skeptics? Some search their whole lives for that simple answer, and instead of searching in the Scripture, they form logical reasonings to satisfy their curiosity.
What i got from that verse was that wisdom of the world will account to nothing if you don't have the holy spirit residing in you. But that makes me sound like i'm saying that those skeptics don't have the holy spirit! And i'm really not one to make that judgement. God is. I guess i'm just trying to get this out, because it's been bothering me for a while now,.. but without guidance from the holy spirit, we don't know anything. because in the end, worldly knowledge is no knowledge.
"However, as it is written: No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God."
That's just it. Our human minds are incapable of trying to understand the extent to which God loves us, to send his only son to die for us. As JOe said in his sermon this past sunday, God's level of thinking is on a completely different dimension. It's impossible to try to comprehend how he thinks. But we can expect and understand one thing: that those who love God, He has prepared something greater than what we cannot perceive.
"For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
Like i said, God works on a completely different level, on which humans are incapable of comprehending. We are human. God is God. Enough said. My plan is to make a list of questions that I plan on asking God when/if I get to heaven. :)
"We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."
Predetermination and free will. God has chosen who will be with him at the end. Likewise, he has also given us the ability to choose. That's the great part about being human- free will. But this goes to show what a GREAT God he is. He is all powerful and could have created us to worship and praise him, but He didn't. If he wanted, he could've written the Scripture and his word on leaves, so that come fall, we'd see the truth. But he didn't. He wanted us to choose to love him.
"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."
To those without the Spirit, spiritual wisdom is foolishness. It's unncessary and stupid and makes no sense whatsoever. But it's like i said before, God is Good and he'll put burden in the hearts of those who've heard the word but is still stubborn to believe.
*****
Heavenly Father- Thank you for choosing me to be your child. Help me to hold onto your word and truth as i go on living in this sinful world. I can only imagine the great things you have planned, and even though i'll stumble and stray away, i ask you to stay by my side so that eventually, i'll become the person that you had in mind when creating me.
Monday, October 5, 2009
First Encounter
Today was the first time I'd ever brought a non-Christian friend to church with me. I had been talking with this person for weeks about coming to church, and i've come to witness that it is true what my mom said. If you keep talking about going to church to a non-believer, God will plant burden into their hearts, despite their stubbornness to stay away from church.
I don't know exactly how he's feeling after today. He's told me that he enjoyed it and had fun, but those might be words to cover up feeling uncomfortable. Who knows. Maybe he'll call me again to ask me to take him to church. Or maybe he'll just turn away from God.
I don't know those things; only God knows.
All i know is that today was his first encounter with God.
*****
Dear God- help me to be more diligent in reading your word, so that when i speak of You to non-believers, i would speak Your truth and not mine. Help me to be gentle and compassionate, because You were to me.
I don't know exactly how he's feeling after today. He's told me that he enjoyed it and had fun, but those might be words to cover up feeling uncomfortable. Who knows. Maybe he'll call me again to ask me to take him to church. Or maybe he'll just turn away from God.
I don't know those things; only God knows.
All i know is that today was his first encounter with God.
*****
Dear God- help me to be more diligent in reading your word, so that when i speak of You to non-believers, i would speak Your truth and not mine. Help me to be gentle and compassionate, because You were to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)