just. thoughts.

i'm so easily agitated these days and i dunno why. it's kinda frustrating when everything just kinda pisses you off..even the slightest little things. it's sucha tiring feeling..it just knocks everything outta ya.


but neway.

the message i heard at church was really needed. we looked into Luke 6, the "sermon on the plain". Jesus just tells why we need to love our enemies. it's because what's really the point in just loving someone who loves you back? even our enemies do that..so as Christians, we gotta do more by doing something that they don't do/choose not to do.

it was just a good reminder to be more merciful and patient with other people.

blessed.

i just had one of the most blessed and nervewrecking experiences of my life. it was also probably one of the hardest things i've ever done, but all glory goes to God.

=)

buuuuuut, im tired so im gonna pass out for a couple hrs.

g'nite.

love, mom.

엄마딸 혜미

이번 학기도 벌써 마지막 (막바지)이 다가왔구나!

어찌 그리 시간이 빠른지......

힘들면 잠시 눈을 감고

하늘을 향해

항상 너와 함께 하시는 하나님을 바라보렴.

그리고 가슴을 활짝 열어

너에게 주신 축복들을 모두 받아들여

감사하렴

엄마가......

timidity.

i've always been shy. ever since i was little, 'SHY' was a part of who i was. i never spoke up in class and i think people loved arguing with me because my passivity let 'em win. i used to think it was a harmless characteristic, like it didn't matter if you were shy, bcus then you have the really really extroverted person, and on the other end is the really shy, introverted person- me.

but i don't think it's necessarily doing me or anyone else any good. in 2 Timothy, one of the first things that Paul tells him is how God doesn't want you to be shy and timid, but be powerful with the word and spirit of God so that you can preach to others. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." i'll admit tho, that this was one of the reasons why i didn't want (& still do today) to lead bible study or be a small group leader. i don't like speaking in public, i just don't like it. in fact, i hate it. my tongue gets all tied and altho in my head, i might think i sound good but it's just the opposite. i don't like how i can't sound as eloquent as i think.

but neway.

in the next verse, Paul says "don't be ashamed to testify about our Lord"...i know i'm not ashamed to testify, but then again am i? is my timidness just a door that i hide behind so i won't have to lead a small group or let alone just talk? i don't like thinking that i'm that cowardly..i guess i'll keep finding out about myself over time..

seeds.

Night
Field of stars above us
You pick one
We frame it with our fingers intertwined

Seeds of every generation
Between our hands
And the promise to teach you the little I have learned
So far

Child
What will you live to do?
What have I left for you?
What will we leave behind?

You
Learning as you're growing
Not yet knowing
The world isn't always quite as beautiful
As it is now

Night
Field of stars above us
I pick one and name it for you
And all who are to come

night.

“Why did I pray? A strange question. Why did I live? Why did I breathe?”

- from Night by Elie Wiesel.

praying for the faith of a blind man

John 9. It's the story of Jesus healing a man who was born blind. When disciples see this man, they ask Jesus if he or his parents had done something so wrong to make him deserve this way of life. But Jesus says, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." He had faith that whatever was put on him- be it good or bad, was in the control of God. How is it that a man who couldn't see anything, who only had 4 out of the 5 senses, had more faith in God than I did and maybe still do? I pray for the faith of this blind man, to open my hands up to God and submit everything to Him. I truly believe that God takes these weak and tough moments and in those moments that i think nothing ever good can come out & everything is absolutely hopeless, thats when God's glory truly shines.