what would Jesus do ?

i can't believe how overwhelmed i am already and the 1st week hasn't even finished. so many things are on my mind right now and i don't know where to start. i don't know how to keep my cool and be patient cus i was never that patient of a person to begin with. sure, my problems right now are pretty insignificant, but my insignificant brain doesn't seem to think so. i'm famous for stressing myself out easily you see.. -_-

everytime i just wanna throw my hands up and give up, or turn the blame towards someone else, i find that i can't. i end up turning the finger back to me. which then, makes me feel even crappier bcus i know that the battle that i was just in right now, with satan, was a complete fail. i know that when i let myself get really angry and emotional, i'm practically inviting satan into my heart arms wide open. anger and frustration just spreads inside you like a poison, and you can't really stop it but to drop down and pray. aaaaand, i wasn't about to do that on the sidewalk by chauncey..

i think i need to get in the habit of thinking the "WWJD" mindset whenever i have these little implosions. bcus i wasn't saying or doing anything that seemed upsetting, but i know God read and heard my thoughts and was just shaking his head.. "tsk tsk, you Fool".. or sometimes my sister would try to calm me down by asking how i would act if Jesus was standing right next to me.

idk i'm still kinda frustrated so i'm gonna nap it off.
i need some serious rebuking....sah.

being called by God

10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

this was one of those familiar passages of Galatians, when apostle Paul tells the Galatians that there's a difference between serving and feeding the hearts of people and truly serving God. it's so easy in this time and age to appear as something you're not..well this isn't one of them. to be called a servant of Christ, Paul says you gotta check your heart- if you're doing it for the credit, recognition, and a round of applause, then it's not OK. i think he's speaking to all of us, no matter how we're serving, to really check ourselves to see if it's really God i'm serving.

because then the next part of the passage turns really interesting. Paul retells of his stories of when he first left as Saul and came back as paul, how people were amazed at his transformation through our Lord.

21Later I went to Syria and Cilicia. 22I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. 23They only heard the report: "The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy." 24And they praised God because of me.

staying faithful to the word and letting God do our transformations will yield some amazing results and turns in our life. Paul let go and let God, and God blessed those around Paul as well.

faith like Job's

The Lord said to Job: "2Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!" 3Then Job answered the Lord, "4I am unworthy-how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. 5I spoke once, but I have no answer - twice, but I will say no more."

I love the interaction between God and Job in this passage. Job's been faithful each time God let satan throw something at him, without complaining like his friends did. and God was pleased with him. i love how Job sets that example by fully crumbling down to his knees and submitting to God. that act of submission is so touching because we all know what it feels like to have taken the everything away, to have the world taken out from under your feet. and Job takes it like a champ and humbles himself completely. he strips himself of all pride and lays it all out.

2I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. 3You asked, 'who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' surely i spoke of things i did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. 4'You said listen now, and I will speak; I will question you and you shall answer me. 5My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. 6Therefore i despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

with love

wow what a c r a z y week. this summer's been too fast and i can't believe the new semester's about to start- my senior year! i don't think i'm ready..haha but apparently God thinks i am so we shall seee.

with all that's been happening this past week (moving in, cleaning, finalizing classes & loans, settling claims & accidents, etccc.....) i've almost come to lose my head and sanity. i'm constantly tired and cranky which doesn't exactly help me with the building of character. sometimes i just feel like a cork that's about to burst, there's times where i almost just blow up with anger and everything that i say and do aren't very God-centered nor glorifying.

if i'm gonna be a servant of God doing His works, i don't wanna be someone who's constantly on edge and ready to blow up. i wanna be patient like Timothy and faithful like Job. i need to learn to tame my heart and tongue, be patient and know how to turn to scripture.

Apostle Paul tells the Corinthians to be strong, to set an example as God's collection. sure they're human, and God and paul recognize that they're all prone to mess up here and there, but it's just a constant push towards living as Jesus did when he walked this earth.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. - 1Corinthians 16:13-14

i pray and pray for the servants and hearts of cornerstone- that through our tiredness and weakness is when God's power is magnified.