and 3.5 years later...

"Some people fail to integrate their lives around Christ because they lack spiritual passion and are unconvinced that obedience to him in all things is worthwhile. Like the people to whom Malachi addressed his prophetic oracle, they suffer from spiritual sloth and indifference. If we fail to hone a sense of divine calling in this world, we can slip into spiritual lethargy, boredom, despondency, and burnout." - Kenneth Boa in Conformed to His Image: Biblical and Practical Approaches to Spiritual Discipline

I'm reading this for class right now, and it answers clearly the questions about leadership that I had 3-4 years ago. Serving God is supposed to make you joyful. Note, I'm purposefully saying joyful and not happy because there's a significant difference between the two. So many of us dedicated so much of our study time (and grades for that matter) to serve God and His people in college... then only weeks into a new school year, we'd have people dropping like flies with excuses left and right. I wondered why people were so unhappy when they were doing things that were supposed to make them not so unhappy... and then years later, I read in my spiritual formation textbook the reason why this was happening.

"..we fail(ed) to hone a sense of divine calling in this world" which to our demise, led to "spiritual lethargy, boredom, despondency, and burnout." Our focus wasn't on God and his Kingdom, it was honed on us. We got angry if we planned for an event that no one showed up to. We got frustrated when leaders couldn't deal with personal issues that affected church events and responsibilities. We let our emotions get the best of us, instead of focusing on the deeper, inner joy that was supposed to satisfy because we were selfish.

It's easy to fall into that trap and say that we are 'obeying' God when we serve. I find that to be extremely deceptive. You don't obey God first by what you do; obeying God is first done by honing in that divine calling, which begins in the heart.