Acts 1

"7 He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. 8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

it's always good to read up on passages that talk about Jesus' second coming. even after years of hearing and reading about it, i still find it hard to wrap my head around it. i know what's going to happen and what needs to happen, and what i need to do to prepare for when Jesus comes back. but we live now in a time and age where the entire truth of the scripture has been so washed out- one of the pastors at OIL even talked about it, how the western world is soon becoming a place where no one knows about the gospel. this is another one of my prayers for us, for the retreat and as a church; that we would re-gather what we've learned and heard up until this point, and ask God to train us to prepare for His coming. i want to be ready, to always be watchful of what i say and think because i don't want to not have an answer for when Jesus asks me why i did the things that i did.

Christ as the HEAD, and the Church as the BODY.

i was really moved tonight when several of us prayed for the retreat and growth of our church at prayer meeting. i'm sad to say though, that i think that this was one of those rare occasions which i felt we were praying together as one body. over the semesters, we've kinda let our church "digress" in spirituality and prayer. none of our hearts were on the same page, everyone was selfish and had their own ideas about how a church should be run, we were all sort of pushing and shoving to be heard above one another... over time, we just all kinda forgot why we were a group in the first place. and now that the retreat is coming up, some of that sense of urgency is slowly (no, more like rapidly) starting to rise again. we know what we have to do though. we know that God's given us the tools, all these people willing to serve with all this passion in their hearts- individually, it's no problem. but collectively? that's where the problem starts.

"so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." 1 Corinthians 12:24-25

my prayer for these next two weeks (and hopefully for as long as we're a church) is for us to keep in mind the truth of this passage. the Word of God rings so true, it should feed straight into our mouths and into the pits of our hearts. if we're to call ourselves a body of Christ, with Jesus at the head, we need to pray for more unity. even in the hard times, "I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together." Psalm 34:1-3 

all is good in God's timing.

i recently found out that one of the people who i'd been praying about didn't necessarily come to Christ, but started going to church on her own will. i had such a hard time with her a couple semesters ago, because she leaned on me for everything but anytime i tried to even bring God into the conversation she would turn her head away. it was so difficult and discouraging, but still i didn't stop because of the value that i found in our friendship. what i thought would be a breaking point occurred right before Christmas break last year, when she asked me for something that i absolutely could not not NOT do for her, because it went against everything i believed in. i really wanted to help her out because she was literally in pain, but i couldn't. she felt betrayal, and i felt helplessness. nothing ever really resolved, it just all glossed over and she soon moved away. but she visited last semester, and told me that she'd met a guy who went to church and that she started attending once in a while.

i wanted to give up so many times during those semesters that i knew her, because she always knew something was missing in her life and heart, but was too proud to let that void be something that was greater than her. on the other hand, it was frustrating for me because i'd prayed for her practically everyday for her to even expose herself in a Christian surrounding, but God never moved her heart for her to agree to come with me to church. what am i trying to get out of this? God's timing.

He works in such mysterious ways, and truthfully i'm still trying to figure out the mystery of it all. nothing really adds up. why he made me spill all those tears for her in frustration and pity and sadness, and it was only after she moved away that she slowly started letting her guard down. i'll never know. Ephesians 1:10 says- "he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ." So what if i had a hard time because of her? SO WHAT? God was doing everything in His own time, and who was i to complain of His great works? i still don't know if she's accepted Christ into her heart and life, but all i know for sure is that God is working and He is mighty and good.

teach me to obey.

God is so generous and loving and compassionate. the things He gives us are things that we don't even deserve. why He would entrust into stupid creatures like us, i'll never know. but He does over, and over, and over again..it's neverending. ever since i was little, i remember getting everything i want. this didn't happen in the very literal sense, but if i take the time to look back, God provided and gave me everything i needed. so in time, i got used to it, i got "spoiled" and thus growing to take advantage of God's graces upon me. Matthew 25 talks about the parable of the Talents- it's becoming one of my favorite passages. God gives 3 men different amounts of money, and all but one are active and diligent with what they're given. the third man who hides it in the ground is totally disrespecting and disregarding God in his action (or should i say lack of?). God entrusted something that was His to them, but the third man didn't do anything with it. he just sat there idly thinking he was being wise by not wasting or risking.

i feel like that stupid third guy a lot because God has given me numerous chances, opportunities, things i don't deserve, and He entrusted them all to me because He loves me and calls me His child. but what do i do with them? nothing! like that foolish man, i let it all go to waste because of my laziness and lack of motivation to be productive. i justify myself by thinking of all the risks, but God doesn't judge on the outcome. if that third man invested but came back with only a little, God wouldn't have been angry. He's not that kind of God! instead, He would've praised him like he did the other two: "well one, good and faithful servant! you have been faithful with a few things; i will put you in charge of many things. come and share your master's happiness!" v.21 i act lazy and foolish most of the time like that third man. i don't sow the seeds that God gives me. and by (not) doing that, i disobey. teach me Your ways, O Lord.